Question
Read the following passage: He was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. Hanyu won after he performed more snowboard tricks to the people who didn't win. Unlike them, Hanyu got more height off the snow. The winner did the most difficult snowboar tricks. Which revision below most effectively uses referents to create coherence? He was the winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship by performing more, higher, harder tricks. Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more snowboard tricks. He had mo height. He did the most difficult tricks. Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. To begin with, he won for performing more tricks than his competitors. Next, he showed a higher degree of difficulty than them. Finally, he got more height off the snow than the rest. Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfipe championship. He performed more tricks than his competitors, and with a higher degree of difficulty. Hanyu also got more height off the snow than anyone else.
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Aug 20,2024
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Answer
Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more tricks, had a higher degree of difficulty, and more height off the snow than others.
Solution
The revision that most effectively uses referents to create coherence is:
Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more tricks than his competitors, and with a higher degree of difficulty. Hanyu also got more height off the snow than anyone else.
This revision uses "Hanyu" as the referent throughout, making it clear who is being discussed and maintaining coherence. It also logically organizes the information by presenting the reasons for Hanyu's victory in a clear sequence.
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